Autistic child "kicked out of hotel" - and other stories relating to children in public

This story is plastered all over social media. This is the mother's version on Facebook. At the end is the story reported in the Daily Mail.

I have every sympathy with parents with an autistic child but my feeling is that there was a lot more to this than they claim. I wonder if anyone here knows of this hotel and what the owner is like normally.

Dear All
I would like to put the matter straight regarding what happened on Tuesday morning at The Russell Hotel, as the media are mixing my words and what the owner of the hotel is saying is utterly untrue. I would go and do a lie detector test, and prove what I am saying is the truth, but would he ???
This is the truth of the matter as follows: We were having breakfast at 9.30, Jason, Ally-Adela, Jay and myself whilst waiting for my other daughter Krystel to join us. In the cafeteria there were 2 other ladies sitting at a table in the corner and opposite us there was an elderly person (the owner) with a young lad - teenager . Jay at that time was watching Mickey Mouse and the 3 musketeers in his iPad and he pushed the volume to high, immediately I lowered the volume and at that precise time the teenager gave me a nasty look and immediately the elderly man came towards me, bent forward and neared his face next to mine and said "switch the iPad off" I explained that I had lowered the volume and couldn't switch it off as my son is autistic and needs his iPad to relax and aids him switch off his surroundings. He came closer to me and said to me "switch it off as it was disturbing the other guests"(which they hadn't complained, 2 of them ) I said that I wouldn't switch it off as it was in a low volume, I explained that many other sounds effects my son like cups and cutlery too and this helps him relax, he said "I am the owner of the hotel and I want it off,"I said that this was our 3 visit to the hotel as we were coming every 3 months he said, "I don't want you coming anymore" We were in shock, Jason said that he was being inconsiderate towards our son's situation and he said to take Jay out of the room, "sorry what" I looked at Jay at the time and he was eating his sausage and I felt so hurt against his discrimination towards my son, I therefore got up and went to reception and he followed me, and Jason followed him , I asked the manager if the elderly person was the owner and then I saw him at my side and he said "I am the owner and have the power to throw you all out and I want you all out, all of you" then Jason told him that if he was throwing us out we wouldn't pay and he said "I want you out of the hotel" and Jason had words with the owner in a very civil matter on Jason's behalf , I was very proud of him.
I told reception that we couldn't pack
at that moment as I had to leave for jays sessions and that on our return we would pack and leave. The hotel manager sent me an email to talk about the incident at 1pm but I didn't see it until my return to the hotel around 5pm, were we packed and went to reception to hand in the keys. We were not asked to pay the bill at any point because clearly the owner had thrown us out. They even called us a taxi to take us to the new hotel.
The reason the hotel contacted us was to make an arrangement to come to an amicable end to it all, due to all the bad reviews that they were receiving, nothing else, not because he was feeling sorry, there was no remorse there whatsoever, this person was extremely rude. Putting his face in my face and Jason had to tap him on his shoulders to remove him from me.
This is what happened, and by the way as we are appearing in many newspapers, please note that we are not getting paid for this, as there has also been rumors that we are.
Also thank you all for your support on this disgraceful ordeal.
XxxxKatharine


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3710724/Severely-autistic-schoolboy-six-thrown-hotel-using-iPad-breakfast-despite-fact-helps-calm.html

Sorry Freedom but my sympathies lie with the owner. What sort of parents would go into a public or private dining area knowing their child is going to disturb everyone else - some people act as if they own the whole space around them, i.e. on buses, trains, restaurants etc and that it is `their right` to invade everyone else`s space with their noise - it makes me angry and I wish bus drivers would turf them off. Sorry, it`s one of my pet hates. Whether the child is autistic or not, the least the parents could have done was turn the sound off, or gone outside with him if `he must have it on to relax him` - but oh no they didn`t give a flying f*** for anyone else. Sorry.

Anyway it`s hardly the brightest choice of a holiday hotel to stay in with an autistic child.

Yes, I know, you`re going to say I should be more sympathatic having worked with mentally ill clients - perhaps I`m just less tolerant than I used to be.

I don't know why you thought I wouldn't agree with you, Mimi. I said that I felt that there might be more to it than the parents' story of being thrown out for a single trivial incident.

I have a problem with noise - more than most people and it restricts my movements considerably - so yes, that's why I wondered what the other side of the story is. I would like to hear from other guests at the hotel at the time.

As you say Freedom, we don't know the whole situation here. At the moment reading your link I feel sorry for the hotel owner.

I have every sympathy for the whole family having an autistic child. It must colour their whole life in every situation.

But - if their son finds playing films/stories/music on an i-pad or whatever (personal and portable thingy anyway) can help him disassociate from too much outside noise I really can't see why they don't provide him with earphones? It seem such a simple answer.

Good point, Bluebell.

Freedom wrote:I don't know why you thought I wouldn't agree with you, Mimi. I said that I felt that there might be more to it than the parents' story of being thrown out for a single trivial incident.

I have a problem with noise - more than most people and it restricts my movements considerably - so yes, that's why I wondered what the other side of the story is. I would like to hear from other guests at the hotel at the time.  

OK Freedom, apologies for assuming things. I just thought you`d automatically support the autistic child. I beg your pardon (Mrs. Arden) as my Mum used to say.

Yep I reckon there is more to it than the parents said. I sometimes think people provocatively manufacture situations that will cause a ruckus just to get their name in the papers.

@ Bluebell - yes, why not get him some earphones. Good point.

As long as they are headphones which actually keep the sounds to within the hearing of the wearer!

Most of those I encounter everywhere are useless - the sound can be heard several feet away and when there's a load of them, plus idiots gibbering on phones at full volume, it's an absolute nightmare!

I would'nt recommend going on any journey with National Express then,what with music phone convo's and the worst one is bliddy skyping,what a nightmare

I used to go on coach trips but that's a thing of the past now. I would be begging to be let off on a motorway miles from home!

I only go on short bus rides, getting off early if the cacophony of noise reaches meltdown point.

Trains are a better prospect as you can at least move around and find another carriage which isn't as bad.

I think a lot of parents think because they have an autistic child it gives them free rain to let them run riot. i have a feeling there was a lot more noise going on than the mother said, why would customers complain and why would the owner need to ask for it to be turned off. It had to be disturbing someone. I'm with the owner on this one.

And, for me most important, they were asked to "ease" the problems with other guests, which they didn't, and were not "kicked out", but requested to leave. What's the owner of such a place supposed to do?

Stupid example: if I would be sitting in a lounge with my dogs and they would make a noisy fuss, I would take them out for a walk, so that others could have their breakfast ...

I'm going to lock the topic for a few moments to transfer a few posts to another one about our children's exploits (or our own) when younger.

Now done - eventually after two failed attempts!

https://maddiemccannmystery.forumotion.co.uk/t1452-family-anecdotes#62174

To me it's just basic common sense and consideration for others that, if your child is causing a disruption, you do something about it, not expect everyone else just to put up with it.

I think it was Bill Oddie whom I read about a few years ago. He was at a school concert or play and screaming children / babies in the audience were making it impossible for the show to continue. He had to ask the people concerned to take the children out.

It really is beyond belief that they had to be asked and didn't just leave at the first sign of trouble.

I think that I encountered a child today in a supermarket who was genuinely autistic. He was sitting in a trolley at the checkout and his frenzied screams of "I want to go home" rang a bell with me.

Fortunately I'm not 6 years old (as he appeared to be) and can manage not to behave like that when noises and lights are too much!

His mother (?) got him out of the trolley and he made a bolt for the door and had to be brought back with a reassurance that they'd nearly finished in the shop.

Another story from Facebook about a child having a meltdown on a plane. This supposedly happened on 13th August.

While I have no time whatsoever for the rudeness of the person who complained, I can understand how she felt.

Dear Lady on the Manchester bound flight from Ibiza yesterday!
We are sorry our daughter stopped you from getting your beauty sleep but clearly she was having a meltdown and was not feeling 100%.
As you felt the need to turn round and ask us to "shut that child up !" This didn't help her anxiety levels or ours in trying to manage the situation.
We explained her situation to you very politely and said we are sorry if she is causing a problem and maybe ask if she could to be moved? This resulting in you repeating that you were "sick of the noise and can't you just shut her up!" You continued to be abusive and publicly called her Daddy a "PRICK" in front of her and her other 3 siblings.
Your behaviour and outburst was not helpful what so ever in helping to calm down our daughters anxiety.
I hope social media helps for this post to find you to let you know that same little 8 year old girl ended up being taken to hospital by ambulance that evening as she became seriously unwell. Maybe you managed to get a good night sleep?
‪#‎disabilityawareness‬ ‪#‎epilepsyawareness‬
‪#‎autisumawareness‬
‪#‎sturgewebersyndrome‬

I'm sure I posted a link about the above.... It seems to have vanished.

I certainly didn't see a post from you about this.

This is a different situation from the hotel incident where it looks as if the parents were remiss in not taking their son away from other residents to calm him down.

Here they could not step outside the plane for a while!

The behaviour of the woman who complained is dreadful but I have sympathy with her too. There have been times when I have behaved very bizarrely when driven crazy by noise.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3743069/Air-passenger-yelled-Shut-child-shamed-girl-s-mother-Facebook-eight-year-old-melts-flight-ends-hospital.html

It was just a link for the DM article about it. Interesting reading the comments.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3743069/Air-passenger-yelled-Shut-child-shamed-girl-s-mother-Facebook-eight-year-old-melts-flight-ends-hospital.html

I hope that other passengers on the plane will come forward to say what happened from their point of view.

Freedom wrote:I hope that other passengers on the plane will come forward to say what happened from their point of view.  

It's a tough one. Every family has the right to a holiday but, equally, the other passengers are entitled not to have to contend with a screaming child. They have paid for their seats too.
It would appear the family were aware the Yasmine may have issues on the flight as they had made the staff aware of her conditions. They also booked the back row and made sure Yasmine was surrounded by her family. This suggests there was the possibility she might get upset.
The passenger who complained didn't demonstrate a very tolerant attitude and her actions and words were never going to endear her to anyone, but if the noise had gone on for some time, I think I might have been a bit miffed too.
Perhaps holidays abroad, with the ensuing hassle of plane travel, confined space and noise issues is not the best choice until Yasmine is a little older.
I speak as the step-parent of a child with learning difficulties so I can empathise with the family, but we would never consider air travel with my stepson if we thought it would trigger any anxiety in him. As it happens he loves it and sits happily for 5 hours grinning at all those around him.

You've hit the nail on the head as far as I'm concerned, Chirpy.

If I had a child who was likely to go into meltdown on a plane, I simply would not fly both for his or her sake and that of other passengers.

My son had his tantrums but it usually involved storming off and sitting sulking by himself so it wasn't a problem which affected everyone.

P.S. There were some scary earlier moments when he would make a bolt for it and run madly into the road. Normally he was very good about crossing roads safely.

The thing is nowadays, criticising a child's behaviour has become akin to being racist. Whilst I certainly don't condone any form of bullying or hate speech, I think good manners and stricter parenting have been replaced by an almost catch-all excuse for children who run wild. The autistic/adhd card is played far too often when kids misbehave, probably in order to shame the complainee.
There will, of course, be plenty of genuine cases and we should always try to be sympathetic but social meedja has exacerbated the current trend to guilt people out. Thousands of folk join in, sending their "karma will catch you up" quips, when in actual fact very few would be nearly as sympathetic if it was their ears being assaulted for several hours.

This is a heart-breaking story about a boy with Autism...

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/boy-aged-8-tries-kill-8603634

That is so sad Andrew, that poor boy just needs a special, calmer one on one school and he's having to fight hard for it.

No surprise that this bit rang many bells (horrible noise!) with me.

"Rex explains that learning in his classroom is like trying to listen to classical music when there's one hundred TVs on different channels at the same time".

The rest of it is very reminiscent of my son who was a happy child until he started school. I feel sure that, if Aspergers Syndrome had been recognised then, that's what the diagnosis would have been.

There was bad behaviour at home and towards other people, not wanting to go to school etc. One remark I took as a joke at the time was that he didn't need to go anymore because he knew everything already! Aspergers children are often known as little professors with a vast range of knowledge and that was him.

It turned out that the one and only friend he had at school was terrorising him. It was similar to an adult relationship where one controls the other's life and the victim gets into trouble if they do anything not approved of by the other. That included going to see various child psychologists over the years - they were very good but it became a nightmare getting him to go because his psycho friend was telling him not to.

The problems that my son still has today date back to his childhood.